I like to think of myself as a stress free person. I’ve
tried very hard and learned over the years that there are things that are
beyond our control and sometimes you just have to “let it go”! I believe everyone
has experienced stress to one degree or another and we will all continue to but
learning how to deal with it is the key.
As in most marriages, my number 1 stressor is finance
related. I’m the ‘saver’ in our family, my husband is the ‘spender’, whether it’s
on himself or others. We’re trying to tackle our debt and save money but it’s
not the easiest thing to do when you have complete opposites. We have talked a
lot about our finances and set goals for when things need to be paid off and
how much we need to save each month and it seems to be helping tremendously.
Other expenses always seem to creep in though whether it’s an emergency room
visit or a moving violation ticket. One thing that is working is I have an
automatic draft taken from our account each month that goes into a savings
accountant and it’s not easily accessible. Coping with financial stress isn’t
easy, however, implementing these strategies and simply making smart choices
about when to spend money and when not to has been the very helpful. Always live
below your means is what I like to live by.
My 2nd
stress is probably that I just found out I’m expecting with our first child and
I’m constantly tired. While this a joyous
time in our lives, I’m having difficulty in finding motivation to do school
work. I just want to sleep when I get home from work and the weekends are the
worst. I want to be able to spend time with my husband in my down town and
enjoy all the excitement that comes with having a baby whether it’s shopping
for the baby or going to dinner alone for the last few times possible but I
either 1) Don’t have the motivation or energy or 2) I’m doing/need to do
schoolwork. Outside of work and school, we’re also very involved in our church
and that takes up a bunch of our time as well. However, I will have to say, I
would be a much more stressed out person if it wasn’t for our church and my relationship
with the Lord. The best coping mechanism that I think will help me is to just learn
to live in the moment and not be constantly thinking about what needs to get
done next. Having a better calendar schedule for my school work may help and
make sure I take the time to still ‘date my husband’.
My last stressor is connected to the first two – buying our
first home. Our goal is to purchase a home next summer (which is right around
the time the baby is due) and this is a time when a lot of expenses will be
adding up. Moving, having a baby, graduating from school, not working, applying
for a government job, and not having
a single family member that lives near us (all are in California) is a bit
scary and overwhelming when I look at the big picture. I honestly freak myself
out when I think of what’s supposed to happen next summer. Simply not thinking
about it is the best thing I can do and taking it one day at a time and
tackling one hurdle at a time is what I need
to do. I told my husband already I will need his help because usually I’m the
more ‘responsible’ one - the one who pays all the bills and takes care of finances
and does the research for things like home loans and such. I sometimes can put
too much on my plate and be a bit of a control freak. Learning to relax and let
things happen is necessary I’ve come to realize.
I know how blessed I am to have such minor stressors in my
life and when I look at them, I can’t help but laugh. How silly is it that I
stress out sometimes about these things when there are FAR worse things I could
be stressing over. I have a wonderful, blessed life and a loving and healthy husband and a relationship with
God that has kept me.
