There are so many different situations that women can be
sexually assaulted. It may be done by a complete stranger, a friend, or even a
family member. I recently went to see my cousin and she told me about a personal
incident that happened years ago. She was helping my grandmother, who lived in
Serbia, recover from a double mastectomy. A male friend of my grandmothers
would stop by the house a few times a week to help her out with things around
the house. One evening, he stopped by like he always did and asked my cousin to
help him get something from the garage. She didn’t think anything of it because
he was a family friend and trusted by my grandmother. When she got to the
garage, he pushed her against the wall, started groping her breasts and kissing
her on the neck, back, and face. She started crying and begging him to please
get off. After she was able to finally get herself free, she ran into the house
sobbing and told her grandmother what happened. Now because this was in a small
town in Serbia, the police would not really do anything about it but the town
people would take care of it. All my grandmother had to do was tell one person
and the story spread like wildfire. They don’t know what happened, but my
grandmother said she hasn’t seen the man since. Sadly, this story is not
uncommon and it takes a lot of courage for a woman to share an experience like this.
You feel shamed and guilty like it’s your fault, but it’s really not. My cousin
knew to be aware of her surroundings. She had a good head on her shoulders and
when it came to a family friend, she let her guard down like most of us.
I had a similar experience happen to me, however it was a
trusted coworker. I’ll spare the details but I did report him to the
University. I don’t know what happened to him, but I never want back to that job
after the incident. Being only nineteen when it happened, I was ashamed,
embarrassed, and scared. In hindsight, I
can look back and see all the warning signs of what was to happen. I was young,
ignorant, and naïve though.
So, what can we, as
women, do to protect ourselves and reduce our risk of a sexual assault? Most of
it is common sense, being aware of your surroundings, and making smart
decisions. Many women can be raped or assaulted when they are intoxicated and
not surrounded by trusted friends. Drink responsibly and always have a safe
ride home! If you’re going out, go with a big group, be responsible to one
another, keep a phone on you at all times, have some extra cash if for some
reason you become stranded and need a taxi, and don’t be alone with a stranger.
Walk in areas that are well lite, park your car near lights, always tell
someone of your plans, especially if you’re going alone, and keep doors and
cars locked at all times. Some others tips include reading or watching the
news, be informed of areas where attacks may be happening. If you like to go
out and run, stay on a well trafficked path and don’t put both head phones in
your ears to where you can’t hear what’s going on around you. Take a dog if you
have one. Dogs are a great protection and your chances of being attacked are
very minimal. We should always listen to our instincts too, they’re normally
right. If you don’t feel safe or like you shouldn’t be there, you probably
shouldn’t. It’s not a bad idea to carry pepper spray or maybe even a concealed
carry. God forbid you ever have to use one, but I love what Thomas Jefferson
wrote to George Washington in a letter - “One loves to possess arms, though
they hope to never have occasion for them.”
