Stressed Spelled Backwards is Desserts

I like to think of myself as a stress free person. I’ve tried very hard and learned over the years that there are things that are beyond our control and sometimes you just have to “let it go”! I believe everyone has experienced stress to one degree or another and we will all continue to but learning how to deal with it is the key.

As in most marriages, my number 1 stressor is finance related. I’m the ‘saver’ in our family, my husband is the ‘spender’, whether it’s on himself or others. We’re trying to tackle our debt and save money but it’s not the easiest thing to do when you have complete opposites. We have talked a lot about our finances and set goals for when things need to be paid off and how much we need to save each month and it seems to be helping tremendously. Other expenses always seem to creep in though whether it’s an emergency room visit or a moving violation ticket. One thing that is working is I have an automatic draft taken from our account each month that goes into a savings accountant and it’s not easily accessible. Coping with financial stress isn’t easy, however, implementing these strategies and simply making smart choices about when to spend money and when not to has been the very helpful. Always live below your means is what I like to live by.

 My 2^nd stress is probably that I just found out I’m expecting with our first child and I’m constantly tired. While this a joyous time in our lives, I’m having difficulty in finding motivation to do school work. I just want to sleep when I get home from work and the weekends are the worst. I want to be able to spend time with my husband in my down town and enjoy all the excitement that comes with having a baby whether it’s shopping for the baby or going to dinner alone for the last few times possible but I either 1) Don’t have the motivation or energy or 2) I’m doing/need to do schoolwork. Outside of work and school, we’re also very involved in our church and that takes up a bunch of our time as well. However, I will have to say, I would be a much more stressed out person if it wasn’t for our church and my relationship with the Lord. The best coping mechanism that I think will help me is to just learn to live in the moment and not be constantly thinking about what needs to get done next. Having a better calendar schedule for my school work may help and make sure I take the time to still ‘date my husband’.

My last stressor is connected to the first two – buying our first home. Our goal is to purchase a home next summer (which is right around the time the baby is due) and this is a time when a lot of expenses will be adding up. Moving, having a baby, graduating from school, not working, applying for a government job, and not having a single family member that lives near us (all are in California) is a bit scary and overwhelming when I look at the big picture. I honestly freak myself out when I think of what’s supposed to happen next summer. Simply not thinking about it is the best thing I can do and taking it one day at a time and tackling one hurdle at a time is what I need to do. I told my husband already I will need his help because usually I’m the more ‘responsible’ one - the one who pays all the bills and takes care of finances and does the research for things like home loans and such. I sometimes can put too much on my plate and be a bit of a control freak. Learning to relax and let things happen is necessary I’ve come to realize.

I know how blessed I am to have such minor stressors in my life and when I look at them, I can’t help but laugh. How silly is it that I stress out sometimes about these things when there are FAR worse things I could be stressing over. I have a wonderful, blessed life and a loving and healthy husband and a relationship with God that has kept me.

Blog 2 - The Birds and the Bees

I am not a parent, yet alone a parent of a teenager. However, I remember growing up, my parents talked to me about sex and how it was a special gift to be shared only between a husband and wife. My parents and I had a very open relationship and I could to talk to them about anything. Like my parents, I don’t believe in just sitting my kids down and having “The Talk” about the birds and the bees. I believe it should be a continuous topic of conversation throughout childhood, adolescent years, and into the teenage years.  Many factors go into raising a child and a child’s perception on intercourse, sexuality, and body image. Not just the conversation, but your actions and what type of values you instill in your children will all determine how they view it. Will they view sex as something to be taken lightly or not? However, the only way to be able to do this is to have a respectful, close relationship with your children. Allow them to feel safe and remind them constantly of how beautiful they are. They should never be ashamed of their bodies.

It’s extremely difficult these days to shelter children from ‘adult’ material because of the age of technology we live in. Even if your child doesn’t have access to a smart phone, TV, computer, tablet etc. at home or for personal use, they are almost guaranteed to have a friend that does in addition to ‘sexy’ images being thrown in their faces by billboards, TV advertisements, or simply walking around a mall. In my opinion, it’s best children learn about this personal, highly important topic from their parents. High schools talk about practicing safe sex and the dangers of unprotected sex but this whole process starts at a much earlier age. We’ve heard of girls getting pregnant as early as 9 years old and to me, it’s so important to first talk to children as soon as 5 years old about their private parts and how this is an area that should never be touched by anyone. Around 7-8 years old, I think talking to children about kissing would be the next step. And soon after this age, maybe 10 and up is when the topic of sex may be introduced. Being able to speak to your child in a safe and comfortable environment is necessary, like a bedroom or living room. Children are curious and full of questions. I think it’s  important to never lie to them about this so choosing your words wisely is also key. God made each one of us unique and beautiful!

Blog 1

I interviewed two women and asked them what health issues they were most concerned about and why. Each of them asked, what exactly do you mean? It’s a very broad question. So I told them to answer based on a personal, professional, or even global level. 

My sister Olivia, who’s a white, 24 year old college student, said on a national level, she’s most concerned about cancer. “It’s so common these days because as a society, we are being exposed to a lot more things than we used to, environmentally and naturally,” she says. “You hear about it being talked about in the news, on social media, and most people know at least one person or someone who knows someone that has been affected by cancer.” On a personal level, Olivia said she worries about skin cancer since she was a synchronized swimmer and spent hours in the sun for years at a young age, and even now as a swim instructor. “I wear sun screen, but I’ve still gotten some bad sunburns in the past and I know my chances of getting skin cancer are increased tremendously because of that,” she says. She has fair, light skin and dirty blonde hair as well. She claimed to know three people who were affected by skin cancer at a young age and said it’s very common in her line of sport.

      My little sister Olivia 

I interviewed my boss, Dr. Sandhya, who’s a 40 year old, single Indian women. She’s been a dentist for 14 years and voiced many concerns. Personally, being self-employed, she worries about her lack of medical insurance. She says it’s very expensive to dish out that kind of money for yourself when there are so many other bills and other employees to take care of. Professionally, she said she worries about the lack of dental IQ in the general public. She spends a lot of time educating patients on how to take care of their teeth and gums, but there are so many people who don’t get that type of opportunity. Regarding the general public, she was very passionate about her answer and continued talking for a great deal of time. She said as Americans, the majority of us make poor food choices. “Marketing and the media promote very unhealthy habits and it turns into a vicious cycle of health problems like diabetes, heart disease, and high blood pressure,” Dr. Sandhya said. “No one reads food labels and portion sizes are too large.” She said she feels that we as Americans need to be properly educated on healthy eating starting at a young age, the parents need to be involved, and that there needs to be more marketing towards health food and the dangers of leading an unhealthy life style.

 

My boss, Dr. Sandhya

It was interesting for me to see the difference in what concerns both women expressed.  I agreed with everything both women stated. While my sisters was a little more broad and generalized, especially for her concern about the public, Dr. Sandhya's was, I believe, some of the root cause for the rise in cancer that my sister was worried about. Not to undermine what Olivia said, yes, cancer is much more prevalent it seems in today’s world, however, what is the cause of cancer? It’s a host of many factors, including genetics, environment, way of life, and I strongly believe much of it stems from our unhealthy eating habits. How many videos and documentaries have been made to show the obesity epidemic that is consuming our culture? How many campaigns have been created to encourage a healthy, fit lifestyle? Numerous ones. We’ve even changed the traditional food pyramid into my plate. Coming directly from our nation’s first lady, Michelle Obama has been a huge advocate for getting up off the couch and exercising and eating right. Yet, we are still surrounded by fast food restaurants and grotesquely large portions that won’t seem to disappear. It’s a mind game that many of us have a hard time winning the battle. It’s difficult to control urges when the food we eat has addictive qualities and we’re consumed by billboards, television ads, and vending machines throwing themselves at us, begging for us to just have one taste. In strongly believe there needs to be a bigger emphasis on health education in schools, starting in pre-k all the way through high school. Food served in our schools needs to healthier, not filled with high fructose corn syrup and MSG, and we need to offer more fresh fruits and vegetable rather than the processed foods.

I’ve gone off on a tangent, but I personally believe one of the biggest issues for America is our unhealthy, sedentary life style. We don’t sleep enough, we’re overworked, we don’t eat healthy, we’re too stressed, we don’t work out enough, and all of these factors combined cause the illnesses we see – diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, and cancer. We need to fix where the problem is coming from, rather than trying to fix the disease once they already have it!