Stressed Spelled Backwards is Desserts

I like to think of myself as a stress free person. I’ve tried very hard and learned over the years that there are things that are beyond our control and sometimes you just have to “let it go”! I believe everyone has experienced stress to one degree or another and we will all continue to but learning how to deal with it is the key.

As in most marriages, my number 1 stressor is finance related. I’m the ‘saver’ in our family, my husband is the ‘spender’, whether it’s on himself or others. We’re trying to tackle our debt and save money but it’s not the easiest thing to do when you have complete opposites. We have talked a lot about our finances and set goals for when things need to be paid off and how much we need to save each month and it seems to be helping tremendously. Other expenses always seem to creep in though whether it’s an emergency room visit or a moving violation ticket. One thing that is working is I have an automatic draft taken from our account each month that goes into a savings accountant and it’s not easily accessible. Coping with financial stress isn’t easy, however, implementing these strategies and simply making smart choices about when to spend money and when not to has been the very helpful. Always live below your means is what I like to live by.

 My 2^nd stress is probably that I just found out I’m expecting with our first child and I’m constantly tired. While this a joyous time in our lives, I’m having difficulty in finding motivation to do school work. I just want to sleep when I get home from work and the weekends are the worst. I want to be able to spend time with my husband in my down town and enjoy all the excitement that comes with having a baby whether it’s shopping for the baby or going to dinner alone for the last few times possible but I either 1) Don’t have the motivation or energy or 2) I’m doing/need to do schoolwork. Outside of work and school, we’re also very involved in our church and that takes up a bunch of our time as well. However, I will have to say, I would be a much more stressed out person if it wasn’t for our church and my relationship with the Lord. The best coping mechanism that I think will help me is to just learn to live in the moment and not be constantly thinking about what needs to get done next. Having a better calendar schedule for my school work may help and make sure I take the time to still ‘date my husband’.

My last stressor is connected to the first two – buying our first home. Our goal is to purchase a home next summer (which is right around the time the baby is due) and this is a time when a lot of expenses will be adding up. Moving, having a baby, graduating from school, not working, applying for a government job, and not having a single family member that lives near us (all are in California) is a bit scary and overwhelming when I look at the big picture. I honestly freak myself out when I think of what’s supposed to happen next summer. Simply not thinking about it is the best thing I can do and taking it one day at a time and tackling one hurdle at a time is what I need to do. I told my husband already I will need his help because usually I’m the more ‘responsible’ one - the one who pays all the bills and takes care of finances and does the research for things like home loans and such. I sometimes can put too much on my plate and be a bit of a control freak. Learning to relax and let things happen is necessary I’ve come to realize.

I know how blessed I am to have such minor stressors in my life and when I look at them, I can’t help but laugh. How silly is it that I stress out sometimes about these things when there are FAR worse things I could be stressing over. I have a wonderful, blessed life and a loving and healthy husband and a relationship with God that has kept me.